(Reluctantly I’ve agreed to an “interview” with Marks and Lip, the two heroes in my books PROPORTIONATE RESPONSE and INSIDER X. Johnny Two-cakes, also in those books, has a cameo.)
Lip: You comfortable?
Me: mmmfff!
Lip: Here let me get that. Better?
Me: Thank you. Are these supposed to be this tight?
Marks: Told you. Should have used duct tape.
Lip: He’s fine. They’re not blue yet. (Looks at me) I suppose you wonder why we asked you to meet with us?
Me: Yeah, it crossed my mind.
Lip: We’re kind of bummed.
Marks: Very bummed.
Me: Is this about REALITY RECODED?
Lip (looks at Marks): Told you he was smart.
Marks: Did you read it?
Lip: No.
Marks: But you’re sure we’re not in it?
Lip: Very sure. If it had us in it, it would be a bestseller. You see it on any bestseller list?
Me: Guys, I haven’t forgotten about you.
Lip: Kind of looks like it.
Me: Really. I haven’t. I’m thinking maybe next book. Or the one after that.
Lip: What?! We can’t wait that long. What are we supposed to do?
Me: I don’t know. Hang around?
Marks: I’ve taken up knitting.
Lip: He has.
Me: You’re kidding?
Lip: Yeah, it’s bad. Can’t you do something?
Me: Maybe I can toss you a bone?
Marks: I like bones.
Lip: He does. He likes bones. Cave man thing.
Me: Okay. Let me think about this. Do you guys like to coach?
Lip: Coach?
Me: Yeah, I could use some assistant coaches.
Marks: What sport are we talking here?
Lip: Hold on! How does that help us?
Me: You guys wanted a bone.
(Johnny Two-cakes enters the rooms. Sees me. Double blinks.)
Lip: Relax. He’s fine.
Marks: We’ve been giving him cookies.
Booming voice from the ceiling: READ AND GO FORTH AND TELL ALL WHAT YOU’VE READ.
Lip: Nice try, Buschi.
Me: That wasn’t me.
Marks: What happens when we click it?
Lip: Don’t!
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Dave Buschi 